My mum wants to help me, whatever it is, and it is so painful for her to find that actually she brings no help, but burden.

For me, an adult daughter, it is even more painful that mum cannot realize that now I am ready for any burden in my efforts to reward her, and her cooperation to enjoy will be the best rewards to me. 

As a matter of fact, parents can no longer help their adult children, though they wish they still could, and the biggest help is for them to accept whatever rewards their adult children are willing to provide. As Mr. Shi in “A Thousand Years of Good Prayers”, the father of a divorced daughter, realized, he came to USA to help his daughter out of her troubled life, which his daughter didn’t think so at all. He refused to attend the package tour his daughter arranged for him, but stayed home, preparing food for her every day, waiting for her daughter to talk to him about her life, waiting for any chance for him to solve her problems.  It frustrated the daughter more and aroused more conflicts between them. The daughter finally hurt him by cruelly piercing into his life secrets. Mr. Shi returned to China, with his unaccomplished mission, and a hint of guilt in both father’s and daughter’s hearts.  

My mum attempts to repeat the story,  though not exactly in the same way. I was amazed when I was reading through the short story by Yiyun Li.

She doesn’t want to accept anything I have arranged for her, because she doesn’t want to waste my money. And she fails to understand that actually it is wasting both my money and time if she refuses to take them, since I leave the whole three months free to myself in order to accompany her.  

She is so selfish to think that as long as she won’t accept anything, she can be released from feeling guilty.

You know, sometimes, it is really tiring if both sides are concerning each other too much.